Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Sharing Some Thoughts On Body Language, Violence & Survival

I have spent a large portion of my life dealing with criminals in one capacity or another.  I've chased them down, fought with them, investigated them, interviewed them, and had countless casual conversations with them.  I've had them threaten to kill me, my family or both.  I've had them grab, punch, kick, spit, and use weapons against me.

I've also had them break down and cry, joke and laugh, and share their deepest thoughts and personal lives with me.

I've sat and listened to an old man happily show me photos of his grandchildren, while serving most of his adult life for the violent rape of a neighbor's child.  I've played Dominoes with a young man who was on trial for bashing his girlfriend's baby against the wall one night during a four day meth binge.  I've had lengthy conversations with a man about the best ways to catch a trout out of the local lake, his body tattooed up with twin SS lightening bolts and other symbols of hate, who also was heading to prison for committing murder as an Aryan Brotherhood hitman.

I've also watched a man try and hang himself, only to discover he tied one too many sheets to the bannister of the top railing, dive off and fall flat onto the hard cement floor below.

I've also had my share of those who enjoyed painting themselves, the walls, and even me with their own excrement, blood or any other bodily fluid they choose.

I once had a guy attack me with a knife and pepper spray.  I had to go in and take down a guy hyped up on PCP, naked and armed with a mop handle.  I've taken down a guy who had an axe pick in each hand.  I've had to face off and talk down a violent gang member who outweighed me by about 80 pounds and who had put more people in the hospital than I ever have.

Those are just a few examples from my background, where I was on the clock.  I have seen and been through quite a lot.

I've also spent time with the victims, too.  Those who survived, those who didn't, and those who wished they didn't.  Their stories are the hardest.

But, this article isn't about them.  It's me sharing a few things I've learned that might help keep you from being a victim.  It's a sampling of some tactics I have learned through my own experiences, shaped by the advice of very qualified people I had the privilege to learn from, regarding the importance of body language and those "tell tale" signs the crap is about to hit the fan.

With the exception of those who are criminally insane, we all go through the same processes in our biochemistry when the adrenaline cocktail rush hits us.  An attacker is already in it.  In an ambush, we aren't.  They are at optimum capacity.  We have to get there.  They have the advantage.  We don't.  At least not initially.

However, if we are aware, we can pick up that things are escalating.  We can use spacial control, voice commands, and such to try and remove the advantages the attacker has.  Maybe he won't attack if he knows his advantage has passed.  Maybe.  But, don't count on it.

I have come to develop an acute awareness of people.  In reflecting my own awareness behaviors, I find that I mainly look at 3 things in a person:

  1. Eyes - The eyes are the window to the soul.  Watch a cat when she spots a scuttling bird, mouse or anything that looks like prey.  The pupils widen completely to let in more light, to expand their awareness and visual acuity.  They lock on.  However, I am also aware of eyes that don't stay focused on me, that dart past me or around me, but also have the dilated pupils.  Anybody whose eyes don't make them look like someone who is calm and comfortable catches my attention.
  2. Nape of the Neck - You know, that pit at the base of the throat.  It's a great indicator of elevated pulse, sweat, and even discoloration (redness).  Remember, your attacker is building himself up to attack, so the body goes into an elevated state.
  3. Hands - Fingers twitch unconsciously when under stress or the adrenaline cocktail.  The attacker may ball his fists, or hold his fingers open and slightly curled, like they are gripping a softball.  They may even flinch their hands, shake them, put them in their pockets and back out, scratch (often), run their fingers through their hair, touch their face, and all sorts of other things.  The hands almost cannot help but be busy doing something.  Some guys may try to hide their hands in their pockets, folded in their arms, or similar.  It's a subconscious attempt to try and conceal their ulterior motive.  I always make a note if I can't see one or both hands.
There are more, but these are the main three I use as my initial assessment.  Of course, how they talk, shifty feet, hands unconsciously "checking" their waistband or coat (possible concealed weapon), and so on are all red flags, too.  There are many.  But, having a basic three will give you something to focus on without losing the big picture, without "pigeon holing" your awareness and missing out on other things (accomplices, or even the real attacker!).

Sometimes these can show up over a span of hours, minutes or even seconds.  You have to maintain your awareness.

You also don't want to instigate trouble by staring at someone, either.  You need to have that ability to casually scan without looking like you're looking.  This can be done even as you are passing someone on the street.  The last thing you need is to have some guy spot you checking him out and get in your face with "what the @#$% are you lookin' at?".

As I said before, someone who is criminally insane may not reveal any signs.  For them, their reality doesn't include the same perceptions of right and wrong as we have.  Just as you don't get hyped up cutting up that juicy steak to throw on the barbeque, neither could they over cutting you up and throwing parts of you on the barbeque (with a side of fava beans and a nice Chianti...).  Where hearing another person scream in agony would certainly cause stress to most of us, to them it's just background noise, maybe even enjoyable.  There are those serial killers whose minds associate the rush of killing with sexual pleasure.  To them, the same release happens internally.  They will become excited at the fantasy they want to exact and their signs may look similar to someone about to 'score' with their date.  Same flushed face, same elevated heart rate, similar adrenaline rush, same dilated pupils, same fidgety hands and feet - but they are excited and anxious in a very different way than the average person about to exact violence.  It may come across confusing.  They may actually be nice, maybe excited to see you, maybe nurturing and caring.  But, the level of excitement will be unusually high, if you look for the signs.  They may be very subtle, depending on the level of sophistication of the predator.

Programming yourself to scan the three areas I described will help go a long way to building your sensitivity in unconscious human behavior.  Certainly there are always exceptions and anything that catches your eye should be considered not on it's own, but as part of a whole.  Shaky hands don't mean a lot by themselves.  Dilated pupils don't mean a lot on their own.  An excited person could just be excited.  You have to take it all into context.  But, at least noticing these things can help you to increase your awareness further, in case any other indicators pop up.  You can always do the smart thing and use your spacial control to steer clear of the person, which is almost always the best option if you suspect someone is gearing up to attack you.

Be smart, be aware, and stay alive.