Kurai Dori, Gambatte and Sutemi

I have been thinking much these days regarding my own budo path and struggles. At this moment, I will confess that my own attention has been off balance - I have been much more of a teacher than a student. This is shameful on my own part as a budoka and something I have been dreadfully aware of for quite some time. This is not due to my own laziness or lack of ambition as it is more of a choice of priorities in the limited time I have available to me.

I have friends who are great teachers and who have great dojos to train in. I can certainly get out there and train with them every week. But, each class they hold ends up falling on a day or night which is already booked with family events, work events or even my own Intel class (which is only on Tuesdays).

Then, there is the financial consideration. Some of these schools charge rates which would tap into resources used for family time, which is something needed even more.

So, I just keep going in training with my Intel group. I stay on task with what I have been taught and work on things which I feel need to be tackled. I am looking forward to a big seminar next month right here in Granite Bay with Gojudan (15th degree black belt) Jack Hoban and his yearly review of what he learned from our Soke's current teachings.

But, there are opportunities to train more with those I respect and hold keys to my budo growth, if I can find the time/space/finances to train with them.

In our budo, there is a term called "Kurai Dori", which literally means to "take position". But, the meaning of "dori" can also be to "seize" or "assume". Either way, it is an action, an overt act. But, consider the meaning of "dori". To "take" is different than to "create" something. Therefore, what exactly are you "taking"? If you move into a fighting position, for instance, what are you "taking" that position from?

My understanding of Kurai Dori is that it has much more to do with becoming the missing puzzle piece in the whole picture. You become the shape needed for the space. In combat, this can have many applications and purposes, all of which are designed around one concept - to adapt. However, Kurai Dori can also be to assume a space which limits or prevents the shape of the attacker in fitting properly, thus taking away or reducing the effects of their action. All techniques require both tori and uke to be at precise positioning and angling at just the right timing in order to work properly. The more any of those deviate from that plan, the less effective the technique becomes. Moving in Kurai Dori is to always "take a position" which deviates from what the attacker (or any threat) needs to be successful in their efforts.

Another regular term used in the Bujinkan is "gambatte", which basically means to "keep going". Normally this is meant as an admonition to just stick to training, be vigilant and never give up. But, "gambatte" also means something very basic, very vital and at the root of Soke's budo. It means to never stop moving, to "keep going" in your technique, to always be adjusting, shifting, positioning, adapting to whatever is happening or not happening, to keep your intent and purpose clear, to not get hung up on anything and to just live (as an action) life. This is important to training as well as combat. True Kurai Dori is Gambatte. It is always moving, always shifting, always adapting, always expressing and always on course.

This ties into something I've been meditating on all week, a concept called "Sutemi". This term is often interpreted to mean "suicide techniques", but actually is more about intent than techniques. It has to do with "letting go" of fear, doubt, hope, anything and just going for broke, acting as if you have nothing to lose - because you aren't holding anything in the first place.

An example of Sutemi is, while being thrown by your attacker, you "let go" of being thrown and continue to attack as your body flies overhead. Another example is when one's back is against the wall, with no retreat, and they have to fight their way out. It's what makes someone put themselves in the path of the bullet in order to save another. Or, maybe it involves that ferocity that comes from a bear protecting her cub.

Sutemi also has an ura, or reverse side. Knowing how a person can do incredible things when they feel there's no way out or their life is in imminent, unavoidable danger, it becomes important for you to not allow your opponent to feel that. They should be given a choice, a perceived way out. They need to feel like they have a chance. Give them a bait to trap themselves, but don't let the trapped mouse become a raging tiger! Eventually, in the right timing, their defeat will come, like the cat who plays with the mouse until the right time to finish it happens.

What this has to do with my current struggles in my budo training is still a subject for more meditation, but I do find the timing of these things appearing before me very interesting. I know I must "gambatte" in order to not stagnate my budo. However, I also know during these times I can lose my position, so I need to focus on "Kurai Dori" to adapt to what my challenges and opportunities are and to be patient with the timing. Lastly, I need to "let go" and have "Sutemi" to get past those internal things which prevent me from training as much as I should. I need to remind myself that I must lose or let go of seeing myself as either teacher or student and just train. Defining myself by any role means I will strive to operate as that role, when in fact I am many roles at the same time - sempai/kohai (senior/junior) and sensei/deshi (teacher/student).

As long as I Gambatte in true Kurai Dori, with the zero of Sutemi, then I am truly walking a budo path.

Easier said than done, eh?